By Sam Berkhead
Managing Editor
Rest in peace, rock ‘n’ roll.
Debate its date of death all you want, but the spirit of rock music is long gone.
But kids, the noise just isn’t what it used to be.
Metallica cut off all their hair and started making corporate sellout old-dude music almost 20 years ago. The nu-metal trend took off in the early 2000s, breeding such atrocities as Limp Bizkit and Korn. Guns ‘n’ Roses’ Axl Rose lost his mind and released “Chinese Democracy” in 2008.
And if you don’t know what happened to Kurt Cobain, please stop reading this article.
Even I’m part of the problem. I put down my guitar three years ago to follow my parents’ demands that I go to college and become the journalistic hack who is complaining to you now.
I went from being like one of the self-proclaimed “golden gods” of rock in 2000’s “Almost Famous” to becoming nothing better than “the enemy” — the infinite flock of media cronies who just want to get the latest scoop on the musicians to sell copies of papers.
At this year’s Grammys, I really got the full sense of how far my beloved music has fallen since my adolescence.
These days, it’s the cool thing to listen to earnest, nice-guy bands that do nothing more than rip off the visionaries who did it better decades ago.
Mumford and Sons may hail from England, but they stole the folk and bluegrass music I was raised on and mutilated it for the masses. I take that as a personal affront to the fibers of my being. The Lumineers are no better. The Black Keys are catchy enough, but again, their sound just rehashes the bluesy-garage-rock sound that’s been overdone for decades.
Then there’s Fun., whose music I might have been into during my Radio Disney phase in grade school. They create sugar-coated pop drivel that’s got about as much musical integrity as a Carly Rae Jepsen album. And if you like it, that’s great — just don’t call it rock music.
Rock should scare and excite, not soothe and placate. That’s where these bands go all wrong.
But fear not — the outlook for rocks future isn’t entirely bleak.
A few rays of hope exist for the genre’s rebirth. Dave Grohl of the Foo Fighters, Josh Homme of Queens of the Stone Age and Jack White of every band ever still put out quality albums that rock hard and don’t sound like a randomly-assembled package of radio-ready singles. Paul McCartney’s brief performance with Nirvana’s still-living members at Dec. 12’s concert for Hurricane Sandy brought a tear of joy to my cynical eye.
If there’s any justice in this world, today’s teenagers will pick up on what these guys are doing and be inspired to revive the spirit of rock ‘n’ roll and do what I was admittedly too afraid to do myself — follow their dreams.
I just want bands that will make my mom want to lock me in my bedroom when they come to town, not bands my mom will want to go see with me.
Is that too much to ask for?
