By Taylor Nigrelli
Sports Editor
Plenty has been said of the bullying scandal that has unfolded in Miami the past two weeks.
Those interested have labeled victim Jonathan Martin either a “coward” or a “hero,” perpetrator Richie Incognito a “psychotic, racist thug” or a “manly” leader and the team a “dumpster fire” or…well, that’s about it actually.
Since Martin officially left the team Oct. 31 after a locker room prank gone awry, blame has spread in all directions.
People have placed the blame with Incognito for pushing Martin to the point where he snapped, Martin for not standing up for himself, Head Coach Joe Philbin for reportedly telling Incognito to “toughen up Martin” and the team in general for allowing all of this to happen.
But none of these options properly assign the blame. The effects and evils of bullying are not limited to the Miami Dolphins locker room.
It’s easy to blame Richie Incognito – he has one of professional sports’ worst reputations – for this situation. But what of the teammates who have defended him, teammates who voted him a team captain and the coach who allegedly trusted him to “toughen up” the supposedly mentally-fragile Martin?
These men aren’t so much to blame either. They’re a product of the culture they grew up in; a culture of conformity.
Young men, especially those who are prominently involved in athletics, are expected to follow a code of “manliness,” a “warrior culture” as some, such as Grantland’s Brian Phillips, have referred to it. This culture is bogus and flawed.
Under this mindset, to be manly doesn’t mean to act with conviction and do what is right, even in difficult situations. To be manly means to follow the crowd, to conform.
If the biggest, strongest guy in the room starts to bully one of his smaller, perhaps mentally weaker counterparts, the other men must either join in, laugh to show their support or remain silent lest they be thought of as “unmanly.”
That’s what it means to be a “man.” The toughest men – the “true warriors” – prey on the weak. Subsequently the weak, like Martin, are expected to stand up to the Incognitos of the world with physical violence, thus earning their place as men.
But that’s often not how victims of bullying respond to the abuse. Some brave men like Martin walk away with their dignity somewhat intact. Others silently take the abuse. Some commit suicide. A small minority get their revenge by showing up to their respective schools or workplaces with a weapon.
Before we as a society became numb to mass shootings, we used to wonder the same thing every time the news broke: why?
Situations such as the one that just occurred in Miami are why 0ur society lacks bravery; it lacks conviction.
There should be more men like Martin – men who aren’t afraid to walk away from potentially violent situations. But there should also be more of a different kind of man – a kind of man who understands that the job of the strong is to protect the weak, not harm them.
Because otherwise, what’s the point? Anyone can stand idly by and watch abuse occur. Anyone can follow the crowd. If this is what is meant to be “manly” or a “warrior,” then those phrases mean nothing at all.
Each person deserves to live free of persecution and abuse of any kind. It’s up to everyone to make sure that’s possible.
nigreltn11@bonaventure.edu
