Ah, the inevitable break up.
Strange to think that every time we start a new relationship, there are really only two options: we will either end up marrying this person or eventually part ways.
Well, more often than not, it’s the latter.
Especially in a college setting, breakups are bound to happen. They have the power to crush souls, to break even the strongest willed. But, if you have some good friends, they won’t let you wallow in self-pity, and you’ll be just fine.
Oh, and the perks of a break up? Being single.
Riding solo in this day and age has become something almost undesirable. While everyone loves companionship, people under appreciate the importance of finding oneself before trying to please someone else.
We are college students. When asked the infamous “What are your plans for after graduation?” our mouths go dry and our palms begin to sweat. If we can’t answer this for ourselves, how can we possibly answer it for another person?
I have experienced my share of committed relationships. Many of them I can say were some of the happiest times of my life. When they ended, I cried, then cried some more, but then I realized something: this is my life. Now, I have the power to do anything I want with it, with no restrictions. I answer to myself. I’m a senior in college, and the only dreams I will be chasing next year are my own. If we can’t be selfish in our twenties, when can we?
Sharing your life with someone you really care about is great, important even. But when things don’t go the way you planned (which seems to be the only constant in life), it’s not the end of the world. It’s just your chance to make time for the most important person in your life: yourself.
Someone much wiser than myself once told me that in the span of our lives, we have the power to fall in love hundreds of times. But there are only a few people who will shape the way we see love, and we’ll carry that with us for the rest of our lives. We’ll even look for those qualities in others. These people will form our template, so to speak. Of all the things I’ve learned in life, this is one that I know to be a certainty.
So, be sad about the break up, because you’re allowed to be. But don’t let it consume you. Because no matter what, you have gained something, even though you feel like you’ve lost more. I promise, whether it’s tomorrow, in a month or in a year, eventually you will see that this is true.
Focus on yourself. Follow your own dreams. Chase them to the ends of the earth with no one, and nothing to tell you otherwise. Follow your own compass, or don’t follow one at all. The latter usually gets you where you’re supposed to be anyway. And if not, it’ll make for a better story in the end.
Emily Mulcahey is the Opinion Editor for the Bona Venture. Her email is mulcahek12@bonaventure.edu
