By Joshua Svetz
Contributing Writer
Scott “Kid Cudi” Mescudi.
Musician, actor, producer, director, artist, writer, comedian, a true genius and one of the most talented human beings alive. But sadly, a troubled person, as many tortured geniuses through history have been.
Seeing Cudi enter rehab for depression and suicidal urges hurts my heart. Like the late Kurt Cobain, Cudi helped me and countless others through some of the most difficult periods of life.
Now, all I want to do is give back. But how do you give back to someone in pain? By telling them how much they mean to you.
My problems don’t match Cudi’s. I’m a well-off kid from a two-parent household in the suburbs. But in my life, I’ve felt out of place.
The true genius of Cudi came from his ability to connect to the dreamers of the world; I consider myself such.
The soundtrack to my life consisted largely of Cudi.
When I felt down about myself due to others, I put on “Heart of a Lion.”
When I recluse into my shell due to over-analysis, I put on “These Worries.”
When I felt overwhelmed with negative energy, I put on “Just What I Am.”
And when I heard people talk shit about things going on in my life, I put on “Too Bad I Have to Destroy You Now.”
For me, no matter how alone I felt, Cudi always understood. His versatility of music matched any mood I had.
Joy, anxiety, isolation, depression, retribution — anything.
In particular, I remember my sophomore year of college, just a little over a year ago.
I was kicked out of a living situation with people I thought were going to be life-long friends. I’ve since reconciled with them, but that’s not the point.
I remember feeling defeated, alone, isolated.
I walked outside and sat on the bleachers near our soccer stadium, contemplating my situation.
I put “Solo Dolo” on repeat and suddenly I didn’t feel alone.
Of course I was still extremely depressed, but from that song, I heard lyrics like; “Why must it feel so wrong when I try and do right…do right?” and “Look at me, you tell me, just what you see | Am I, someone whom, you may love, or enemy? | Am I, speaking for, you and yours, or someone else? | I need some answers.”
It spoke to me.
I said to myself, “He gets it.”
And Cudi refused to let you stay in that dark place.
The final verse: “Listen good: I don’t need nobody | This is what you feel are the sounds of insanity | Hoping what I hear loops itself to finish me | No, I won’t be afraid.”
With this, Cudi is saying it’s ok to feel alone, it’s a strength to be able to handle the world on your own.
It only increases your chances of success; it’s a blessing, not a curse.
Rap Genius says this song is a message to critics of his music. But music acts as an interpretive art form.
For me, it was about getting through a period of alienation.
For someone else, it could be about a lost parent, a breakup, anything that matches the somber mood.
That’s the beauty of music: it acts as a catalyst to your emotions.
The power of music knows no bounds and Cudi proved that.
His legions of fans defend him to the end because he identified with us.
Cudi spoke for a generation of outcasts, misfits and star-gazers.
Now, it’s time to give back to him.
For all the missed social events.
For all the nights stuck in my room contemplating life.
For all the thoughts about what the hell I wanted out of life.
Thank you, Kid Cudi. Thank you for understanding when no one else could.
— Originally posted to Svetz’ blog, letmegiveyoumy2cents.wordpress.com
svetzjr14@bonaventure.edu
