I love the holidays and this time of year. Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year’s are by far some of the days I look forward to the most.
However, there’s one day that I’ve always hated.
Halloween is my least favorite day of the entire year. Even the first day of school and the day after Christmas are more enjoyable to me. Call me crazy, but I can’t wrap my head around the fact that people can enjoy such a vile holiday. My hatred for Oct. 31 has existed ever since I can remember and there’s a few main reasons why.
As odd as it sounds, textures have a lot to do with my dislike for Halloween. Firstly, I gag at the thought of pulling the guts out of a pumpkin. Maybe I’m not alone here, but that’s singlehandedly the reason I’ve carved maybe four or five pumpkins in my 20 years of living.
Secondly, I can’t stand the feeling of fake hair or feathers, and those are commonly found in a lot of Halloween costumes. I raise chickens that I’ve never touched, and if I’m ever forced to either wear a wig or have a bald head, you can bet my noggin will be chilly.
And lastly, I’m extremely particular about the way my clothes fit. The size of the head and hand holes play a pivotal role in my like or dislike of a shirt. Since most Halloween costumes don’t fit like regular clothes, I always stay away.
Halloween is also a shy kid’s worst nightmare. When I was younger, it took every ounce of courage I had in my body to walk up to a stranger’s house, ring the doorbell and say “Trick or Treat,” which to this day I still think is the dumbest thing ever because I’ve never heard of someone not getting candy and getting tricked instead.
Now, as a young adult who will most likely be having kids in the next 10 to 15 years, I can already tell I’ll be the “mean dad” when it comes to Halloween. Sorry future kids, but there is absolutely no way I will spend any more than a few dollars on a Halloween costume that you’ll only wear for one night.
Besides, of the very few costumes I’ve ever worn, the best were the homemade ones. I remember my mom always aiming me and my sister towards the cheaper ones at the store and now I know why. Just this week I was at Spirit in the Olean Center Mall with my roommate and couldn’t believe they wanted $80 for a couple to look like two pieces of toast with peanut butter and jelly on them.
With all that being said, I still plan on throwing something simple together and going out with friends this Halloween weekend. No matter how much fun I have though, nothing will ever make me like the holiday itself. No offense to you if your birthday is Oct. 31, but to show my absolute dislike for Halloween, I will go as far as strategically planning the conception of my children so their birthdays don’t have any chance of landing on that awful day.
After all, I don’t want to have to hate my own children.
Christian Gravius is a contributing writer for the Bona Venture. His email is
graviucc15@bonaventure.edu
