As students and faculty gear up for finals week, Kathleen Boser is getting ready for a yearly tradition — one formed from tragedy but offering peace of mind to many since.
In September of 2002, Boser, an administrative assistant in the Jandoli School of Communication, lost her barely year-old grandson, Noah.
Boser’s daughter, Amy, heard of the Worldwide Candle Lighting Ceremony (in Rochester) that December and, unable to attend, made the decision to channel her upset into outreach in the local community; thus, the first of many annual, memorial candle lighting ceremonies was held.
This year, the ceremony will be held in the Olean First Baptist Church (its usual location), 133 South Union St., on Dec. 11 at 6:30 p.m. The gathering consists of a talk given by this year’s official organizer, Amy Bowser, a community prayer and, of course, the actual candle lighting (which begins promptly at 7 p.m.).
Although the annual gathering has a specific focus on youth lost too soon, each year takes up a specific focus of remembrance — usually centered upon something that’s shaken the local community.
Having had a hand in the event’s planning each year, Boser said the gathering has brought her solace in building a community of those similarly affected by tragedy.
“I think it was the second or third year — we had a devastating fire here in Olean,” she said. “Two children died in the fire and their brother survived and he comes every year — it’s hard to explain how that relationship develops, seeing how important it is for him and the others that are involved.”
Boser added that, in community outreach, small steps are taken in the process of coming to terms with loss.
“It really is a healing process,” she said. “I’ve seen this with my daughter. You’re paralyzed by your grief — and, then, all of a sudden you realize you’re helping someone else.”
Prior to the city’s annual Santa Clause Lane Parade (held the day after Thanksgiving), a
memorial pine tree is decorated in Lincoln Park — with ornaments saved from years past. While local residents are all welcome to add their own adornments to the amalgamation already present, each year’s organizer usually adds on, too, with pieces relevant to that specific ceremony’s focus of dedication.
Although the tree was decorated in honor of Boser’s grandson initially, it has since paid tribute to those lost in local fires and to suicide — among a number of other painful events that have shaken the local community.
For those interested in adding to the memorial tree afterwards, Boser said her daughter usually makes a plethora of ornaments to give out.
“We’ll traditionally have some ornaments available,” Boser said. “If somebody hasn’t put an ornament on the tree, they’re welcome to take one over and put it on.”
Additionally, the memorial tree is located next to the local “Santa’s mailbox,” where children in the area drop their written wishes for the holiday season to St. Nicholas. Those unable to attend the gathering are welcome to add ornaments throughout the holiday season, Boser said.
Boser also helps organize a second memorial event on the second Sunday in June (on National Children’s Day). Created by the late Ann Padlow, an Olean resident, Franchot Park Children’s Garden, the ceremony’s location features a gazebo and scenic garden.
“She wanted it to be a special place for children — both living and deceased,” she said. “[At the event] we have children’s activities [and] we plant flowers in the annual garden. It’s more of a fun day to spend with children and the community.”
mcgurllt14@bonaventure.edu
