By Tom Cottingham
Associate Editor
“It’s not going to happen to me.”
This phrase is one of the most common responses when the subject of addiction arises. “I won’t be the one drinking on weekdays,” “I won’t be the one shooting up before work” or “I won’t be the one thinking about ending my own life” are all replies from the naïve mind when it comes to addiction. But what happens when you become the person you never wanted to be?
Center for Student Wellness director Christopher Anderson organized “Note To (Younger) Self: Stories from the Other End of the Addiction Highway,” a talk that discusses the draining and tiring battle against alcohol and drug addiction. Three guest speakers who did not want to reveal their last names for private matters shared their experiences of being on the addiction highway and how the disease cannot be fought alone.
The first speaker, Christine, was an 11-year registered nurse whose addiction started after a hip surgery. Doctors prescribed Christine painkillers such as oxcontin, percocets and voltaren after the surgery. At the start, she felt great and the drugs enhanced the feeling of having energy. Despite being a registered nurse, Christine was still prone to the power of addiction.
“As you take more drugs, tolerance goes up and little bit more and more and more,” Christine said. “I’m a nurse and knew how much I could take, but this could’ve escalated.”
Soon, she was taking more pills than were prescribed, finding out ways to get the pills and where to hide them. Injections soon followed.
Coworkers eventually found out, 30 days of jail time was set and Christine could keep her nursing license under restriction, which included checking online to see random drug screenings every day, trips to Erie four days a week for therapy sessions and working on a 12-step program.
Although four years clean, Christine still goes through the recovering process daily.
“I’ve got this’ are dangerous words and addiction is a day-to-day battle.”
On the other hand, Megan’s addiction started at a young age because of a low supervision at home and not knowing better. She described the sensation of popping pills to the movie Limitless, and said she felt invincible. Drinking became another habit during high school. Megan was the homecoming queen, on the cross-country team and a bright student, but nobody could see the hole she was trying to fill with drugs and alcohol.
After graduating high school, Megan joined the military to get away from the hometown that reminded her too much of her addictions. Per Megan, even with a change of scenery and lifestyle, disease will try to justify anything.
“When it becomes a disease, it becomes a voice in the background,” Megan said.
Once going back home and relapsing, Megan had “an enlightenment.”
“One day, I realized what I had become,” she said. “I can’t lie to myself anymore, I can’t give any more excuses, so what am I going to do about it? It’s too big for me.”
Seven and a half years sober, Megan continues to go through the recovery process today.
Gene’s story starts at age 19. After high school, Gene did not go straight to college because he worked in his family’s brewery. After one year, he enrolled in college. Gene and his group of friends were “the party group.” They would travel to each other’s colleges, partying and drinking enormous amounts of alcohol. Gene thought that this was what life was meant to be.
After that summer, he did not go back to school and worked full time at the brewery. Gene rose from an entry employee to head of the marketing department. He had money in the bank, was dating a girl and had his first child at age 27, but there was only one thing holding Gene back.
“Addiction doesn’t give a sh*t if you love your kids or want to achieve your dreams,” he said.
Working at a brewery gave Gene the mindset of “I work here, this is what I get paid for” when it comes to drinking. As the years went by, the drinking addiction got worse and his family ended up disconnecting from him for their own safety.
Gene shot up for the first time at age 33 while being unemployed for embezzling money and in and out of court for custody of his two kids left. After stealing money, Gene tried to commit suicide in a church parking lot. He woke up eight hours later and has been sober ever since.
These survivors stressed that beating addiction cannot be accomplished alone. Nobody plans to be an addict, but being informed on the subject is essential if it ever happens.
cottintf14@bonaventure.edu
