Kyra O’Gorman, contributing writer, St. Bonaventure University’s women’s lacrosse
It is almost impossible to put into words the feelings of myself and many other student-athletes around the country on March 12. Being a senior, there is not much of a “bright side” to this situation. Although we all are extremely aware that the decision was necessary for the well-being of our country, it didn’t make the words easy to hear. More than a week ago, I was preparing for my game without a worry in the world. COVID 19 was a distant thought, and I remember talking with my teammates about conferences canceling sports competitions and saying that it would never happen to us. A week ago, I played my last lacrosse game ever without knowing it. It was a pain that will last my lifetime. It is hard to make a comparison, but in a way, it is like an athlete who sustains a career-ending injury… with no control over what happens to them. Most seniors can walk into their last game mentally prepared for it to end. You know you will never play again, and you even get to cap it off with a senior night celebration, to make it sting a little bit less.
If you asked me if I would have expected myself to react this way, I honestly wouldn’t have. I have come to terms with the fact that my athletic career was coming to an end, and I was truly at peace with it. It’s the way of life, eventually, it is time to move on, move to the next stage of your life. I think it is one thing to feel that you understand it, but it is a completely different thing to experience it, going through the pain I was not as prepared as I believed I was. With the use of social media during this time, I have seen many other comments, some supporting collegiate athletes as they go through this. But there have also been many people out there hating on the athletes who are feeling this way. To these people, I would like to say yes, we do understand that the world is in a very scary place right now. I know that there is much more to this than my college lacrosse career ending, but even so, it does not make it hurt any less. Regardless of the situation, athletes should still be allowed to grieve in whatever way they would like to, and their grief should not be minimized because other people are going through things too… everyone has a right to their feelings.
The idea of the NCAA giving an extra year of eligibility is great but consider how many athletes are not able to take this year, no matter how much they want to. I am one of these athletes. I would give everything for the opportunity to lace up my cleats for another season and continue building what we have started here in the 2020 season, but it just isn’t that simple. I, like many other seniors across the country, have a grad school program and a job waiting for me. My program won’t, and can’t, consider my lost lacrosse season a valid excuse to put them on hold. This is devastating. It is 100% the right move by the NCAA, but it is not a full answer and does not help everyone. There are so many more questions to be answered, but for me, my road likely ends here. I take comfort in the incredible growth of my team this season, and that we ended with a record substantially better than one I ever had in my career here. I can know that not only have I helped to make my team better, but also that it is in great hands for the future. I cannot wait to be the Bonnies biggest supporter in the upcoming years, and although my journey was cut short, I am unbelievably grateful for every second I was able to spend with each and every one of those girls. This team will be back better than ever next year, and I can only dream of what they will accomplish.
ogormakl16@bonaventure.edu
