BY ERICA GUSTAFSON, OPINION EDITOR
“Wow! Look at you all dressed up today! Who are you trying to impress?”
If I had a dollar for every time someone – whether a family member or friend – has said this to me, I would have enough money to pay off my college debt from St. Bonaventure University. I’ve heard it going to school, at work, participating in sports or even just going to get groceries at the store.
I’ve also heard the complete opposite of this phrase. “Why are you wearing that? You need to dress like a lady!”
The thing of it all is that these comments really get on my nerves, almost to the point that it is hard to put into words.
I just don’t get it. Why does getting dressed up mean I am trying to impress someone? Why do I have to dress for other people? What does it mean to dress “like a lady?” Even so, why does it matter to anyone else in my life?
I know that most people who comment on this are just picking on me, and they mean nothing by it. However, after hearing things like this constantly throughout my high school and college years, it really starts to bug me, almost like a fly circling around my head.
The interesting thing is that I am not the only person to hear this. People are constantly being questioned about the way they dress and who they dress for. The whole aspect revolves around whether people dress for themselves or others.
Now, in all honesty, it can be any of these, and that is okay. It is okay if you feel comfortable dressing for someone else who you might want to impress or simply look nice for. The only thing we need to remember is that people – especially women – can dress for themselves too.
Maybe you are really feeling good about yourself, and you just feel like dressing a little nicer than usual. Or, you might just want to dress to the point where you feel comfortable and relaxed. In my case, that typically involves grey sweatpants and an oversize t-shirt.
Most people I know dress for a feeling. It is not an uncommon thing.
Marlene Komar talked about these emotions in a 2015 article on bustle.com titled “Who Do We Really Dress Up For?”
Komar writes that “Different looks achieve different emotions: From powerful and unique, to frisky and colorful. So maybe we do it because of this: We’re not necessarily dressing up for the people, but for the feelings we’re trying to achieve.”
She continues saying, “if we keep in mind that what we’re dressing up for isn’t necessarily the approval of other people, but rather for something as lovely as emotions that we want ourselves to feel, then maybe fashion can become a little more fun and a little less stressful.”
Women might decide to dress for others if they want to, but it is not always the case.
In my case, I will never stop dressing in clothing that makes me feel comfortable and expresses who I am. It doesn’t matter where I am or who I’m with. I will never stop dressing for myself. If people don’t like it, then they don’t have to look at me. It is that simple.
