BY ERICA GUSTAFSON, OPINION EDITOR
I overheard a very interesting conversation the other day in the grocery aisles of Olean’s Walmart. Two girls were picking up snacks as they were talking about a recent date the one went on. Though I did not listen for long, I did overhear the girl say that she found it absolutely ridiculous that the guy, who she went on the date with, asked her to pay for her meal. Now I know there are disputes over this, but it really made me stop to think about it for a moment.
Now, I can’t say anything about that one girl’s particular experience because I do not know the full story myself. However, I can reflect on the number of ideas and thoughts that were running through my head.
I feel like the question of who pays for the date depends on who initiated it. If one person offers or asks another to go out on a date, in my mind, it would initially be that person’s role in paying for dinner, a movie or whatever activity they are participating in.
This can still be open for discussion between the two. Still, I don’t think that the person who asked the other out has any right to insist that they should not have to pay.
Yet, there are still people who whole-heartedly think that a man should always pay for a first date as a sign of chivalry and tradition.
I found a 2021 Psychology Today article from Kiara Taylor addressing this whole controversy. In the article, Taylor talked about 2010 research by Emmers-Sommer talking about heterosexual dating traditions regarding paying the bill on the date.
She stated, “While both men and women expressed their belief in the appropriateness of either party grabbing the bill, they also both reported that they believed the man should always pay for a first date.”
If both people talk it out and come to an agreement, that is great. However, I don’t think it is fair to continuously expect a man to pay for a first date just because traditional behavior says so. Just because it is tradition does not mean that it has to be right.
Another thing that runs through my mind is a recent TikTok trend where guys video themselves asking their date if they are going to get some action at the end of the night. If their date answers yes, then they pay for the whole bill. If their date says no, then they click the button that says to split the bill.
I understand that this probably started as a joke and then just spread like wildfire, but I don’t find it that amusing. This concept was even mentioned in the Emmers-Sommer research referenced in Taylor’s article.
She wrote, “Emmers-Sommer et al. also found that men have higher first date sexual expectations than women. They found this to be particularly true when the man pays for the date, and when the date takes place at an apartment, versus in public, such as at a restaurant or the movies.”
Whether you are a more traditional person or not, let’s have this discussion. I don’t think that one person should be required to pay for a first date solely because of their gender. Thinking about it, who was the person who had the idea for the date in the first place?
