BY ERICA GUSTAFSON, OPINION EDITOR
“A life full of regrets is not living at all.” Along with the hundreds of other comments and advice, this one sentence stuck with me the most. However, not in a way you may think. After thinking about this time and time again over the years, I can say that I do not agree with this hardly at all.
When most people hear the word regret, they think of the negative connotations that accompany it. Generally, people understand regret as a negative consequence of past actions and choices that had to be made.
The fact of the matter is, we all have regrets, whether they are bad or not. It is a part of human life. Sandip Roy, a medical doctor, psychology writer and happiness researcher, wrote an article in happyprobject.in about why a life of no regrets may not be such a bad thing and how normal it really is.
Roy writes, “Psychologists believe regrets are not only natural but also vital for human development because they teach people how to avoid future erroneous behavior.” Roy also mentions, “Regrets are an inevitable part of life, and everyone has them. They have a common theme: the past.”
It is perfectly okay to have regrets in life, and they are not there as a reminder to say how you messed up. No one should live a life where they look back wishing they could change all of the past actions they don’t like. No one person should completely focus on the regrets they have, or else they will not be able to look at the possibilities to come.
I have less than 30 days before I walk across the stage at Bonaventure’s commencement ceremony for the class of 2022. In the past four years, and the 18 years before that, I have had my share of regrets about things that I would have done differently. There are things I would have changed or things I would have said that I didn’t. Even with these feelings, I am so grateful for everything that has happened in the past because it has brought me to where I am today. That may sound corny and generic, but I’ve learned from my experiences, even though I may regret them at times.
It is perfectly okay and normal to have regrets in your life, but don’t sit on them for too long. If you are constantly focused on your own regrets in life, they can take over every other aspect of yourself. The best way to avoid this is to understand and learn from your regrets and use them as life lessons as you look forward to everything ahead of you in the future.
This is the same mindset we associate with many other aspects of our lives. History, our educational institutions, relationships and other influences in our lives. If you regret parts of your life, it is vital to remember that you cannot change the past. It’s gone.
Always remember this when you look into your own life. If you have regrets, that is alright. Think and learn from them, but don’t let them cloud the good in your life and what could come from your future. It’s all about balance.
One of my favorite things Roy wrote in the article said, “Regrets are powerful. They can influence our behaviors in the present and future. Sometimes, the regret of not doing something is stronger than the regret of doing something.” I think of this often as I look back on things in my past.
