photo courtsey of Cassidey Kavathas
BY CASSIDEY KAVATHAS, EDITOR-IN-CHIEF
Everyone should become comfortable in their own loneliness. With the constant connection to others provided by cellphones, no one faces life truly alone. But, my greatest personal growth has come from loneliness.
Attending ballet performances during my summer internship highlighted one of the first times I’ve faced loneliness in my adult life. I refused to let the fear of going to an event alone hold me back from enjoying life.
I attended 10 dance performances throughout the summer season— alone. I sat in quiet contemplation and gave into the deep emotion evoked by flowing skirts, bright lights and echoing music. Each ballet brought something different to enjoy.
One of the most emotional shows featured The Washington Ballet with the Chautauqua Orchestra reclaiming the Amp stage after the attack on author Salman Rushdie. In an amphitheater that held 4,000 strangers, I cried. I experienced life in pure raw emotion.
More people should experience the personal and emotional reflection that comes from existing in loneliness. In a way, solitude presents as self care. Experiencing an event alone forces a enhanced connection with the world. While some rush to the comfort of the digital community through phones, others face a life-changing opportunity by looking up instead of down.
In a society built around movement and productivity, a moment of quiet self-reflection becomes crucial. These ballets became my escape from a chaotic and stressful newsroom. They deterred me from burning out as fast as my co-workers. Taking time to exist and think allows for less stress and new learning opportunities.
After a performance of Ballet Hispánico, the dancers announced a post-performance fiesta where they taught a dance masterclass. I knew I couldn’t pass up the opportunity, yet I froze in fear of facing something outside of my comfort zone by myself. I built the courage to walk into the dance studio and join. I danced, drank, ate and laughed with strangers and took moments of fresh air on the dance studio porch to reflect on the experience. This became one of my favorite experiences of the summer. I wish I could relive the feeling again and again.
This couldn’t have happened if I didn’t accept my own loneliness and instead of sulking in it, basking in it. Detaching yourself from dependence on others for happiness improves your life. Facing the world exclusively in groups puts up blinders and often times the little things or moments of life become ignored.
Self-reflection shouldn’t display as a call to self-isolate. It should show as a call to become comfortable facing the world alone.
kavathcj20@bonaventure.edu
